KENYANS AND STEREOTYPES

It’s been a while; anyway am back. I always wanted to have a blog where I could share all the stuff I have always wanted to write about but now I have realized I don’t have much of that; what am I saying.

So recently I was hanging out with a pal of mine and we were talking about how tribal our country is and the various stereotypes that go with every ethnic group. It’s important to point out that a ‘TRIBE’ is a group of monkeys and I therefore prefer the term ethnicity. . .  That’s just my opinion though and you know what they say about opinions ‘Opinions are like an asshole we all have one but nobody wants to know what yours smells like.’ It’s my blog so am allowed to voice mine. Anyway as I was saying ethnicity; I was of the opinion that it is not important to know what part of our beautiful country one is from but my pal said that she can tell where a person is from by hanging on to a person’s every word and picking up an accent. Who has that much time and concentration?.. That’s a story for another day.

I think one should be proud of where they are from; I mean I can’t speak English like am from England reason being it is not my first language. If anything my mother tongue does not interfere with English it is English that interferes with my mother tongue. Kenyan English is horrible the terms ME I…. MY NAMES ARE…etc this is getting boring. Moving on swiftly to stereotypes.

1.      Kikuyu- Very stingy promotes mtumba business like hell. The phrase cheap is expensive doesn’t apply. The men get battered by their wives but a pal of mine was of a diametric opinion and thinks that Men batter their wives. When going to the club ‘mugithi’ they wear cowboy boots and hat plus savco jeans hence they have no sense of fashion. The men are very unromantic and concentrate more on buying land, building homes and taking their kids to expensive schools they have trophy wives. They are business men and  can sell sand to an Arabian… I can go on and on feel free to add on. They have problems with( r&l ) (sh & ch) saying (twero) instead of twelve They commit capital offenses and have a representative in every prison around the world.

2.      Kamba- They are said to be petty thieves Mlolongo speaks for its self. Going by politics they may be said to be watermelons. They move to the city in search of food as their county is kinda dry. On a positive note however they have very sweet mangos and like sex. They just sound funny…

3.      Kalenjins- they win medals for our country,their women are tall dark skinned and beautiful, they have huge parcels of land and after a good business day of selling wheat they spend most of it in clubs with campus girls and whores. The go to the club on tractors…HOW NOW? They replace (F) for (B) e.g.  Fanta becomes (banta) d for T modem becomes Motem

4.      Luhyas—they are sports men especially soccer and Rugby; if you are one of them and you are not athletic maybe you were adopted. They end every Swahili word with KO semeKO, endeKO, EndesheKO. They love chicken like pets that you can eat every once in a while.

5.      Luo- they are from the lakeside and their main economic activity is fishing and they can’t even pronounce the word FISH (Fis). They are known to lead fake lives one can have a merc and sleep on the floor. Or buy an Armani suit and in the face of bankruptcy. They all know English or englis(*) and are familiar with the surface area of lake Victoria. Because of their lavish lifestyles they are also very romantic and even those that have not gone to school buy newspapers and read them up side down. The women have ass hmm!! And the men are scholars mainly lecturers and authors e.g. MIGUNA somebody

Theres this joke a pal of mine told me “ A Luo man and his galfriend were on a boat and the galfriend decides to give him head. . . so the galfriend is down there and all and this dude sees a shark and he shouts 'sark!! omera  Sark!!'"  

some of you will get that joke in 2013

I could go on and on but I need to go get supper. . . Kenyans are beautiful people,lets cherish peace and enjoy stereo types for what they are. . .Today’s quote

“Trying and failing is not Failure but failing to try is failure.”

jazino